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No One Asked Me But…

by Dr. Larry Moses
Submitted Mar. 5, 2008


No one asked me but…We have a young new track coach. Shane Hickman is one of us. He graduate from Moapa Valley High School and will be remembered for leading MVHS to state football and track championships. He was one of the “Cardiac Kids” who went down 20-0 at halftime against Truckee only to comeback and win the state championship 21-20.

Shane was that quick big back a small school needs to compete and he was as good as they come. He went to SUU where he played football for a year before going on a mission for his church. He finished his college degree and has returned to MVHS as an assistant football and head track coach.

Shane has begun a fund-raising drive to purchase an automatic timer for the track events at the school. This will help rebuild the program to the state championship level it enjoyed under the tutelage of Coach Larry Adams. For a period of time three things were sure; the sun would come up in the Eest and Moapa Valley High School would win state championships in Volleyball and Boy’s track.

Shane has raised about $5,500 and needs another $5,000 to reach his goal. I for one will gladly make a donation to this program. If you want to help out I am sure the school office would be glad to accept a donation. What better way to support a large segment of our young people.

No one asked me but…I just spent four days in Southern California. My recommendation is that the CIA stop water boarding prisoners and make those they wish to torture live in Anaheim, California. Those four days reminded me why I chose to live in Moapa Valley.

Among other adventures; I did find time to go to Disneyland. It was the first time I had been there in nearly twenty years and I remembered why I had not been back. My wife was able to get a two day pass for a mere $109; as I understand it, that was some kind of marvelous deal. An advertisement on television states a family of four can have four fun filled days at Disneyland for only $1600. I used to run a family of four on $1600 a month. How many families will use their rebates on this adventure? At least the money would not go to China? Whoops, how many of those souvenirs were made in China? Will Rogers may have been right when he said, “We will hold the distinction of being the only country to go to the poorhouse in an automobile.”

I had not intended to go to Disneyland but someone was not going to use their ticket for the second day and gave it to my wife. So we spent an evening among the unwashed masses as they scrambled to have fun.

I am convinced Disneyland would not be so crowded if it they didn’t let all those kids in. By the time we arrived it was early evening and most of the people seemed to have had all the fun they could stand for. I didn’t see a whole of lot smiles. I must admit it has been a while since I had little children to deal with, but if I remember right, when a three year old screams “I don’t want to go on that ride” and begins to cry hysterically, this is not a sign of a fun filled day.

Fortunately it began to rain and that seem to thin the crowd a little bit. We indulged ourselves with a trip through the Pirates of the Caribbean, the Haunted House and ride on Mark Twain’s Riverboat. Those three rides had not changed much.

One interesting change I noticed was the lack of young service men there. When I was stationed in Southern California, in the early 1960’s, we often invaded the park in mass. When I had been there with school groups we were continually protecting the virtues of our high school girls from the advances of young Marines and Sailors who seemed to infest the park.

A highlight of the evening was as we headed for the shuttle to return the hotel, we heard one little boy say, in awe, to another “And to think it all started with a mouse”. Apparently he had had a fun-filled day.

While Disneyland is filled with adventurous rides,the greatest adventure was getting to and from California. The traffic in the Anaheim area is of a magnitude that is hard to image as one waits for a single car to pass at Whipple so one can enter Moapa Valley Boulevard. This country boy should not be allowed in the company of the lemmings who live in California and haunt the roadways. I believe many of them don’t even have homes. After work at four in the afternoon, they merely get in a car and drive until eight the next morning to return to work.

Let me describe the trip home. Leaving the hotel parking lot required the use of your room key. After dropping it once I swiped it every which way possible and the gate would simply not rise. So I backed up and went out the entrance whose gate was apparently permanently open. This made one wonder about the security measure of having a keyed gate to get out. Arriving at a sign that said 57, not south or north, just 57 I assumed it would split and we would have a choice of going North or South. No such luck and I was headed south for LA instead of home.

I took the first exit with the intent of getting on North 57. However, while I could see the entrance to N57 there was an island between the lane I was in and the entrance to N57. With no place to change direction, that did not indicate no U turns, much to the chagrin of my law abiding wife, I made what some might consider an illegal U turn. That judgment would only be predicated on the fact that all the signs (three on the same post) indicated that no U turn could be made. Taking that only as a suggestion, rather than a rule, I made that U turn and was finally able to return to The 57 going north.

You notice I called it The 57. For some reason Californians personalize their highways and interstates by calling them The 15, The 5, The 90 rather than Interstate 5, Interstate 15. It is like the graduates of Ohio State University- The Ohio State University. I suppose when you spend most of your life driving to or from somewhere, the object on which you drive takes on a personality of its own. I was going to be glad to get home to The Janet Circle.

An other interesting facet of navigating California roads is native Californians measures distance by time not miles. I asked the Bellman: “How far is LA from Anaheim?” He asked: “What time is it? My reply was: “Why? Does LA move around a lot?” He said: “At 8:00 am in the morning LA is 40 minutes away and 1 pm it is 25 minutes away.” I said: “But how many miles is it?” He stated: “It doesn’t really matter, does it?”

Just to top off the return trip we stopped somewhere along the way at a Denny’s for breakfast. We were given a bill for someone else’s breakfast at nearly twice the amount of what our bill should have been. Being a social studies major, I didn’t realize it until we were on the road and my wife who does know how to count explained this to me. Darn, I wish I had passed the Nevada State Math Proficiency Exam.

Three hours after starting for home we reached the Nevada state line and the sky got a little bluer, the sun was shining a bit brighter and air was fresher. Another hour and half found us turning onto The Janet Circle and we were home and all was right with the world again.

Thought for the week…Never try to teach a pig to sing; it not only wastes your time, it truly annoys the pig.

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