By DR. LARRY MOSES
No one asked me but… There was a beauty contest held in New York City and Kathy Bates won. The glass slipper fit Drizilla. Someone kissed a frog and it remained a frog. Beauty kissed the Beast, but he remained a beast. The judges thought they had chosen a ten but when they sobered up in the morning, they were left with a two. Move over Miss America; ugly Betty has arrived. Ronald McDonald was selected over Brad Pitt. This was a win for every kid in America with buckteeth and freckles. The ninety-pound computer nerd was just elected homecoming king.
You may have begun to wonder what I am babbling about. The Westminster Dog Show judges selected a Scottish Deerhound as the best dog in America. They had the choice of a Pekingese, a Portuguese Waterdog, Chinese Shar-Pei, a Smooth Fox Terrier, a Bearded Collie, and a black Cocker Spaniel. They picked a Scottish Deerhound, named Hickory.
Excuse me; I didn’t even know there was such a dog. After seeing a picture of the winner, I still am not sure there is such a dog. If this were an ugly dog contest, Hickory would have been a runaway favorite. This win came as a surprise to those who follow the show. No kidding.
Hickory was the first of her breed to capture the purple and gold ribbon and the silver bowl. I would think it was the first of her breed ever to be entered. It is hard to believe it is a breed. It looks more like a pound puppy that no one would take home. In an interview, one of the dog owners said that it took a million dollar investment to win the Westminster Dog Show. One might suspect that was what it cost to get the judges to select Hickory as the best dog in America.
Had I not read the article explaining that the owners were serious breeders from Virginia I would have believed the dog belonged to a bunch of red neck hunters who on a dare during a drunken evening said, “You know that ugly dog you got, Clem? Let’s take her to New York and just for fun enter her in the Westminster Dog Show.” For some reason rednecks from Virginia ought to be named Clem and Cletus. The conversation might have gone something like this.
Clem: “Pass me another jar of that recipe, Cletus. This form says to enter the Westminster Dog Show; we have to have won two other blue ribbon events.”
Cletus: “Well, we can count the fact that she won the opossum hunt last year and then she got that ribbon for scaring that federal agent who wanted to close our still. Remember he is still claiming to have seen evidence of sasquatch. Maybe they would count the fact that we consume two cases of Pabst Blue Ribbon beer each night.
Clem: “Form wants to know what breed Hickory is.”
Cletus: Well, she ate my Scotty dog and your hound dog and scares all the deer in the county. Let’s call her a Scottish Deer Hound.”
Clem: “She has hair like that on the legs of those Scottish guys who wear skirts, so that should work.”
Can you imagine what the other dogs at the show must have thought; the poodle with its shaved rear end and pompadour hairstyle, the dogs that were bathed and fluffed beyond recognition, the dogs with painted toenails and ribbons in their hair? They must have all stifled their laughter as they looked at this creature that look like it fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.
You must believe that every poodle owner in America is stepping off a bridge today. But not me. Strike another blow for the poor, down trodden and downright ugly. Beauty may be skin deep, but in this case, ugly goes all the way to the bone. Not being a raving beauty myself, I, take a great deal of pride in seeing the beautiful take a back seat to the ugly.
Usually when Westminster picks a dog as the number one dog in America, people flock to buy them. Let me guess this will not be the case this year. Being the owner of a black lab, a breed recently selected as the most popular in America, I find it hard to believe that this rag muffin will be a challenge for a spot in the hearts of America. However, I must admit that my little Chihuahua/Daschund mix is walking with a little more pride today. A blow has been struck for the underdog, the pun intended.
No one asked me but… I just read where Borders, the book store, is nearing bankruptcy. This is due to the new way books are being delivered in America today. The printed book is giving way to the electronic book.
It got me thinking about our local bookstore BOOKS, ETC. We in the valley are often encouraged to support our local merchants. Sally VanErt, the owner of the BOOKS ETC. carries a wide variety of reading materials and is more than willing to order anything one might desire.
The store sells a number of other items as well. She is always looking for ideas that will bring more customers to her establishment.
I must admit I am partial to Sally and her establishment, as it is the only outlet that carries my books. She is very generous with making space available to local writers.
When I go into BOOKS ETC. the first thing I do is look for any books by local authors. She carries Tonia Payne’s books, Stairway to the Past and Return to Dundrum Castle. Nancy Beth Lawton’s Amulet and Between Two Queens. Ute Perkins book Timeless Conflicts is also available. Sally has artwork, photos, and greeting cards by local artist Nick Yamashita. If you need a book, check first with Sally, you may find it cheaper than Amazon.com.
Thought of the week… I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
– Rita Rudner
