By DR. LARRY MOSES
No one asked me but… Thank goodness our county commissioners are debating the important things in life. It makes me proud to know that they are on top of the major problems of the county.
Commissioner Sisolak is irate over a dog barking at a bobcat in a trap. Let us all support Commissioner Sisolak as he makes the world safe for bobcats.
Better than that, the county commission will save us all from pigeons. Someone apparently asked the county to pass an ordinance making it illegal to feed pigeons.
The ordinance will apply only to pigeons. You are welcome to feed other birds. Maybe we could ask those who enjoy feeding birds to place a sign in their yard “No pigeons.” We could then establish a remedial reading program for pigeons to ensure their ability to read the signs. The pigeons could file a discrimination lawsuit. Knowing our present court system, they would probably win.
Some of the commissioners favored the law because of health issues. Apparently, only pigeon droppings are deadly while songbird droppings are not.
Some of the Commissioners objected to the ordinance because they didn’t want to put people in jail for feeding the birds. Interestingly enough, they had no such qualms about arresting those who fed the homeless in Circle Park a few years back. I can just visualize a little old man in jail with a serial killer being asked, “What did you do, pops?”
“I fed the pigeons, sonny, so you had better not mess with me. By the way, where did you get those nice tattoos?”
Commissioner Collins had the right answer though; colorfully put, as always: Solve you own bird problem. Commissioner Collins undoubtly will be in trouble with PETA and other animal extremists as he mentioned that he used to shoot and poison them. However, his premise is right. Solve you own problems for a change and leave the government to important issues.
If I really wanted to upset the animal rights nuts, I guess I could mention the fact that some people trap the pigeons and then sell them for the sport of live pigeon shooting. Being the sensitive fellow that I am, I will not encourage such activity though they can sell for better than a dollar a bird.
Maybe we could get all those idiots in Vegas who drive around and shoot people to shoot the pigeons. Of course, if the reports are true, they would only hit those birds that are considered innocent bystanders. Did anyone ever think we ought to teach those guys how to use those guns so they hit the other bad guys for a change?
Far be it from me to think anyone would feed birds. My wife has hummingbird feeders out in the front. During the summer, we will have four or five hummingbirds consuming containers of nectar all day long. The hummingbirds get irate if we walk by as they are feeding.
We have one hummingbird that is a resident; he does not migrate with the rest so while the amount of nectar we put out slows down, we have to continue to make nectar available. It is a true study of what happens when you make a creature dependent on you. Wonder if the government might take notice.
We spend an inordinate amount of money on black thistle seed to feed small finches we call yellow bellies at our kitchen window. I wonder what they ate before we began to feed them. They seem quite picky about what they consume. Does black thistle grow around here?
There are short periods of time when these birds disappear, but they always come back. I wonder where they go. What do they feed on when they are not bumming off us?
When the wild birdseed goes on sale at Ace or Home Hardware, we stock up and feed sparrows, red and yellow winged black birds, as well as a bird the size of sparrow with a bright red chest. There are three sizes of doves that feed in our side yard and one looks very much like a pigeon. It has a black ring around its neck and I am told that it is an Asian dove and an invasive species.
They apparently do not have green cards as they entered the country illegally. Like the illegal immigrants in Arizona and Alabama, there is an open season on them. I am not sure what makes this bird so bad, but people don’t seem to like it as much as the little fat dove. However, those who are now on the obesity warpath may want to look at this bird as a bad example for all us fat people and demand that we stop feeding it.
One morning while we were watching these flying bums receive their handout, we witnessed another type of bird feeding or attempting to feed. Suddenly the chow line in our side yard scattered as a large hawk swooped passed our window. It appeared that he had no success, but it was interesting. I have often told my wife that we should have a buzzard feeder. She does not think this is funny.
I must admit that it is irritating that these birds find my dog’s water dish as a convenient watering hole. My dog’s water dish is on the back porch because this large black lab has no concept of how to drink water without soaking an area three feet in diameter when taking a simple drink. That, however, is an issue for another time.
The birds find this water dish an oasis in the desert and you can tell by the ring of bird droppings around the dish how many have been visiting. You might think that they would be more considerate than this but you would be wrong. Thank goodness, it is not pigeon droppings or the whole family would be dead of whatever dread disease pigeons foist on mankind.
Just a note: Cooler heads prevailed and the commission voted 5-2 to scrap the pigeon-feeding ordinance. When in Vegas, don’t open your mouth if you look up.
Thought of the week…France has found a unique way of controlling its unwanted critter population. They have done this by giving unwanted animals like snails, pigeons, and frogs fancy names, thus transforming common backyard pests into expensive delicacies. These are then served to gullible tourists, who will eat anything they can’t pronounce.
– Chris Harris
