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March 29, 2024 7:09 am
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Wasting Time

Dorothy Rosby
Dorothy Rosby

If we’re average—not that very many of us are—we’ll spend a full year of our lives looking for lost objects, eight months going through junk mail, and 43 days listening to recorded messages telling us to please hold for the next available operator. I read it on the internet, so it must be true.

I don’t mean to brag, but I’m way above average, at least when it comes to looking for misplaced items, possibly because I’m way above average at misplacing them. And I appreciate that someone has researched these timewasters, considering the effect they must be having on our gross domestic product.

Unfortunately, there are many others that have not been studied yet. For example, how much time do we spend lying on the sofa, trying to muster the motivation to get up and go to bed? Or complaining about the weather instead of doing something about it? Or standing in the middle of the room, wondering why we’re there?

And how much time do we, as a nation, spend peering into our refrigerators, looking for food that’s not there? I know I do it far too much. It’s like I think someone made a lemon meringue pie since the last time I looked, which was approximately ten minutes ago and nowhere near enough time to make a lemon meringue pie, even with a premade crust.

How much time do we waste circling the block, looking for a better parking spot? There are times I could walk to the store, do my errand, and mosey back twice in the time it takes me to find the perfect spot.

How much time do we spend worrying about things that don’t happen and would it be more helpful to worry about things that do happen?
How much time do we spend standing in the aisles at the grocery store trying to choose between all the product varieties? Do I want gel, paste, mint, or cinnamon toothpaste? Should I get it with mouthwash, peroxide or baking soda? Do I need tarter control, cavity protection, whitening, or breath freshening more? Don’t answer that. The point is I’ve been at the grocery store fifteen minutes, and I still don’t have any food.

How much time do we spend looking for our vehicles in parking lots? I just wasted twenty minutes a few days ago myself, walking back and forth, clicking my key fob, hoping to hear my doors unlock. I was about to hit the panic button when I remembered I’d driven my son’s car that day. Ah-ha! I’m just glad I realized that before I reported mine missing.

How much time do we waste digging through our purses? For you men, the answer is probably “not that much.” Good for you, but I’m sure you make up for it with the time you spend flipping through television channels, something I almost never do, mostly because I can’t get the remote from my husband.

However, I estimate I’ve spent at least two years of my life digging through my purse looking for my car keys and another six or seven months looking for my sunglasses. I’ve also used a significant amount of time shuffling through the large collection of discount and loyalty cards I haul with me everywhere. I have so many that it’s hard to find the one I need for the business I’m in, so I finally give up and pay without it. Not only is this costing me money, it’s wasting my time. And if you’re in line behind me, it’s wasting a big chunk of yours, too.

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