No One Asked Me But… (September 6, 2017)

By DR. LARRY MOSES

No one asked me but… When I tell people I don’t fly, they usually reply, “You don’t like to fly?” I answer
“No I don’t fly!”
The news has been filled with stories of people who are being pulled off planes, that they have a ticket for, but the airline decides that they should give up their seat because they have also sold the seat to someone else. That someone else apparently is more important than the poor soul who is told to give up their seat.

The airlines call this overbooking. I call it fraud. To sell more seats on a flight than actually exist is selling something you don’t have. This would be the same as me selling a car to my neighbor and then selling it to someone else. When the neighbor came to get the car, I would tell him I am sorry but someone else bought the car; you are out of luck. A refund! Are you crazy? I may one day have another car to sell and I will give you a chance to maybe buy it.

I don’t know of any other business where you can sell what you don’t have.
When people ask if I am afraid to fly, I tell them, “No there is no need for me to be afraid to fly since I don’t fly.”
I refuse to spend the kind of money one spends for airline tickets to just be treated like cattle. The airport is the only place I know that you are required to be molested prior to using the company’s service. I’m sorry, but no TSA agent knows me well enough to touch me in such a manner.

There are those who say that it is more convenient to fly; and quicker. I suppose it is quicker if it is over 300 miles, but it sure as heck is not more convenient. I will tell you right now I can make it to Carson City from my home in a car just as fast as I can flying and I will not have to undress for strangers. Driving does not require me to house my car in an open lot for days at an exorbitant fee. When I get to my destination, I don’t have to rent a car to complete my journey.

One must wonder about flying when they have to go to a “terminal” to catch the plane. Have you not noticed that prior to landing, the pilot announces, “We are on our final approach.” All I could think of when I heard that was “I hope not.”

I heard one person say he asked how far can this plane fly on one engine and the pilot’s reply was “All the way to the crash site.”
Another issue I have is that I have never owned a mechanical device that did not break down at one time or another. In fact, my car is presently being repaired.But when it went down, I did not fall 30,000 feet to my death.

I am not afraid of dying, I just don’t want to be there when it happens. I won’t be too upset about dying at my appointed time, but I don’t want to die at the pilots appointed time.
What brought on this tirade against the airlines?

My neighbor kid got married a week ago. He and his new bride were to be introduced to the community at an open house. They had gone to St. Thomas for a week and were to be flying home on the Friday before the Saturday open house.

When they arrived at the St. Thomas airport, they were informed that their return flight had been canceled. There would be no refund on the ticket for the flight that no longer existed. There was no provision for them to get home or to put them up while they waited for another flight. They were left to find their own lodging and their own way home.

This they did on another airline. They flew into Atlanta, Georgia, a major airline hub, where they were to change planes on their way to Las Vegas. But the airline had over-booked their flight and the bride’s seat had also been sold to someone else.

Interestingly enough, the couple found this individual before the flight. He said he was on a business trip and, if he got home, he would just have to go to work. So he gladly gave up his seat.

The couple arrived in Las Vegas about 9:30 pm after their reception had already folded. The airlines believe they should be happy they arrived in Logandale before mid-night even if it was a day late. We did get to see them on Skype while they were on the plane en-route to Las Vegas.

The saga does not end here. Upon arrival at the Las Vegas terminal, they were informed their luggage was on another flight and they could come back in the morning and pick it up. This required another trip to Las Vegas. When they picked up their luggage, it had been damaged.

One might think you don’t have to pay for this kind of service, but one would be wrong. I guess they can be thankful; at least they didn’t get beat up.

Do you still want to know why I don’t fly? When I drive, my luggage goes with me. I am not strip searched by strangers. I am not squashed between two overweight creatures who fall asleep and slobber on my shoulder. My snacks are better and I don’t have to use a restroom the size of a phone booth.

Anyone out there remember a phone booth? I still don’t know how superman changed his clothes in one.
Besides flying is not Biblical. The Lord told his disciples in Matthew 28:20: “…lo I am with you always.” He did not say anything about flying high.

Thought of the week… “What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?”
-George Carlin