No One Asked Me But… (May 26, 2021)

By DR. LARRY MOSES

No one asked me but… It is graduation time! I will be going to Colfax, California to see my granddaughter Amelia graduate. She is a very talent young lady who will attend San Francisco State University next year.

No one asked me but if they did, here is some advice I would give to Amelia and to all those graduating from this chaotic school year.

Money is a very poor way to keep score in life. You need to understand you are not what you have. Material goods should never define your success. If the house, car or boat is how you measure your success, you can very easily be reduced to nothingness. However, if your wealth is measured by what you have done for others, the integrity you establish, the moral example that you set, you will never be poor.

You need to understand that your life can be changed in a matter of seconds by people you don’t even know. And you can change the lives of people you do not know.

Many of us believe that we are insignificant and the decisions we make are unimportant. It is true that most of us will not be called upon to make monumental decisions, but let me tell you that you will make decisions every day that will affect other people and will make a difference in their lives.

Unfortunately, you will not be able to stop the killing of hundreds of thousands of unborn children, but you can make a decision not to engage in activities that will lead to a decision to abort a child.
You can’t stop drunk driving by others, but you can decide not to drink and drive which may well save a life.

The decisions you make today will determine, not only your future but may well affect the future of people you will never meet.

While your background and circumstances have an influence on who you are, you are still responsible for who you become.

The most important question you will answer in your life is “Who am I?” Once you answer that question, other questions that arise in life will be so much easier for you. The reason this question is so hard to answer is that we spend so much time allowing other people and material things to answer it for us. You need to understand you are not what you have or what other people believe you to be.

Most of my early life I allowed others to decide who I was and what I would become. My teachers and parents had low expectations for me and I lived up to them. Accepting their evaluations of me I became learning-resistant.

But the whole time I was under-achieving, I was wishing I were some one else. When I played football, I was a nose tackle and no parent wants their son to be a nose tackle. They have no neck and grunt for conversation. Parents have visions of grandchildren that looked like little round bowling balls.

I always wanted to be our quarterback. He was six foot tall, 190 pounds, blond hair, the looks of a Greek god with a 4.0 grade point average. He was the starting pitcher and leading hitter in baseball and All State forward in basketball. I often wished I were him. My parents always wished I were him.

Due to the wisdom of a number of teachers who realized if they failed me I would be back next year, I graduated from high school in 1958. For a year I attended a small liberal arts college that needed a nose tackle.

Realizing I was not going to be the next middle guard for the Green Bay Packers, I left that college and enrolled for a semester at Drake University where my academic success was far from stellar.

Still in search for who I was, or was to become, I took a physical exam; the only exam I may have passed that year; and found myself in the United States Marine Corps where I serve as a non-electrical pop-up target for Uncle Sam.

Upon returning from the Far East I married a young lady I had been dating since I was 17. She had just finished her degree as a registered nurse. We, by the way, will shortly celebrate our 59th wedding anniversary.

She is a very bright person and if she could see potential in me, who was I to argue? She convinced me to re-enroll in college and to maximize who I was. I was amazed how easy school is when you actually read the assignment and study for exams. You good students keep that secret from those of us who thought school was hard.

From the time I enlisted in the Marine Corps and finally graduated, the most important thing that happened was I threw away my “I wish list” and began to look at my “I am list.” I began to validate myself.

This is my challenge to you – validate yourself- know who you are. And once you discover yourself, life will be much easier. Come to realize that someone has to be you and it might as well be you because you are the closest. Identifying who you are and becoming comfortable with it will become your greatest challenge.

I have made a lot of statements and I have given a lot of advice but a word of caution: Be careful whose advice you take and beware of those who supply it.

But if you trust me on nothing else remember the following: Girls, seek a man who has a job, find a man who will never lie to you, a man who makes you smile, and a man who believes you are worth spoiling. Most important is that these four men should never be allowed to meet each other.

Boys, if you can get a sports car for you girlfriend, don’t hesitate. Because that would be a great trade.

My wish is that you receive and are satisfied with what the world considers the small prizes: a pat on the back, a kiss behind the ear, a chance to hold a new born child and say it looks just like you, an empty parking space, a glorious sunset, a job that satisfies your physical, spiritual and intellectual needs, and most importantly, a life mate who is your best friend. That is what I wish for all of you.
God bless the class of 2021.