No One Asked Me But… (September 8, 2021)

By DR. LARRY MOSES

No one asked me but… On this Thursday, September 9, the Moapa Valley Educational Foundation, the Moapa Valley Community Education Advisory Board, the UNR Cooperative Extension 4-H and the Clark County Parks and Recreation are joining together to sponsor a community-wide Mental Health Resource Fair. This event will be held at the Clark County Fairgrounds.

The goal of the Fair is to help de-stigmatize mental illness and to make people aware of the resources available for the return to, or maintenance of, mental wellness. The communities of Bunkerville and Mesquite are invited to join Moapa Valley communities in a free dinner put on by the Moapa Valley Rotary Club. The dinner will begin at 5:00 p.m.

From 5:00-7:00 p.m. a number of mental health organizations will man booths making available information of how they can be a benefit to those in search of help with mental illness issues. During this time, there will be Art Exhibits and fun connectivity games for kids of all ages. All of these activities will be held out-of-doors.

At 7:00 p.m. Mr. Kevin Hines, who will spend his day working with the school children of Moapa Valley, will present his story of a mental breakdown that led to an unsuccessful attempt at suicide and his road back to mental stability. He has since dedicated his life to helping others with their mental illness, suicide prevention, and the cultivation of positive coping life-skills.

I plan to attend and I hope to see you there as well. There are those who believe I probably need to be there and pay attention to what Mr. Hines has to say. As writer Margret Chittenden stated “Many people hear voices when no one is there. Some of them are called mad and are shut up in rooms where they stare at the walls all day. Others are called writers and they do pretty much the same thing.”

No one asked me but… While we are on the issue of mental wellness, let me suggest that two of the most important factors in the development of mental wellness of our youth is the family and the school. In my experience with working with young people, I have come to the conclusion that the single most influential force on the child is his/her family.

A mother heard her young daughter screaming at her doll, “You idiot, can’t you do anything right.”
The mother asked, “What are you doing?”
She replied: “I am playing mother.”

There are many habits the child picks up from his/her parents – little mannerism, polite or rude manners, a sunny or a grouchy disposition, neat or slovenly appearance, good or bad attitude words and actions.

There was a circuit preacher in the old Dakota Territories who traveled from church to church. On one of his trips he took his son with him. As he entered the church, the preacher stopped and put two dollars in one of the collection plates explaining to his son that if people see the money already in there, they are more likely to donate. When people arrived, he preached and as he left he stopped by the collection plate to find that only his two dollars were there.

As he was bemoaning the fact his son stated: “Dad, if you had put more in, you would have got more out.”

You need to help your children understand the more he/she puts into life, the more he/she will get out of life.

Help your child accept him/herself for the unique individual that they are and you can best do this by accepting your child’s uniqueness. Throw away your “wish list” for your child and help them with their “I am list.”

We all fight tough battles each day and this includes our youth. We need to uphold and sustain each other. Home needs to be a haven not a battleground. Each day your child is meeting new challenges.

They need your help in overcoming these challenges as they develop into healthy contributing members of society.

The second most important factor in the development of children is the school and the teachers they encounter there. I remember the first day I went to school. My older brother filled me in on my teacher.

He stated she was a cross between Jack the Ripper and the Wicked Witch of the West. My mother countered by saying that was not true as she was a wonderful loving and caring woman. Who was I to believe? My brother who had experienced this teacher, or my mother who told me spinach tasted good. That alone destroyed any creditability she had.

Those who know my family know that I was a teacher, my three sons are teachers, and my daughters-in-law are teachers. My sons have an affinity for teaching the students many teachers try to avoid at all costs. The following is a beginning-of-the-school-year message my middle son had for his fellow teachers.

If you are a teacher who doesn’t like kids, go do something else. There is plenty of room for different teaching strategies, but if at your core you don’t have compassion, care, and concern for these students, you shouldn’t be teaching. Every year I get new students who have abysmal stories of the treatment they have received at the hands of hateful teachers.

Trauma does not make students stronger. Sure, we glorify the stories of overcoming some horrible event, and students “sell” these stories for scholarships or college admissions, but trauma isn’t so easily encapsulated. Trauma can break the strongest of people and it takes years of recovery to even hope for a return to normalcy. Add to that, trauma can be generational, the impact passed down through the years.

I’m done glorifying horrible events for students as a “What does not kill you makes you stronger” event focusing on finding them help.

This upcoming generation/”kids these days” will be amazing. I have high hopes for them. Historically, old folks like me like to grumble about how things are going to hell in a hand basket. Well, folks it is this group that is going to save us or not.

I am proud to be in education and proud to have friends who have dedicated themselves to making life better for their students. I know that my teacher friends will continue to do everything possible to help students be successful.

Thought of the week… “I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous – everyone hasn’t met me yet.”
– Rodney Dangerfield