OPEN FORUM: Turkey

By DELMAR LEATHAM

To get in the proper mood at the beginning of the holiday season I always like to recite the following poem written by Jack Prelutsky.

I Ate Too Much
By Jack Prelutsky

I ate too much turkey,
I ate too much corn,
I ate too much pudding and pie,
I’m stuffed up with muffins
And much too much stuffin’,
I’m probably going to die.
I piled up my plate
And I ate and I ate,
But I wish I had known when to stop,
For I’m so crammed with yams,
Sauces, gravies, and jams
That my buttons are starting to pop.
I’m full of tomatoes
And French fried potatoes,
My stomach is swollen and sore,
But there’s still some dessert,
So I guess it won’t hurt
If I eat just a little bit more.

Benjamin Franklin felt that the turkey should be the national bird rather than the eagle. He believed the turkey was a clever animal and worthy of being the symbol of our nation. I have heard tales the turkey was so foolish, that in a rainstorm he would look skyward and drowned.

I don’t know if that’s true. Turkeys were introduced into the Moapa Valley to provide another type of bird to hunt. It was believed to be an elusive bird and considered a real prize if you were able to harvest this holiday treat.

It hasn’t turned out to be that elusive, though. A friend of mine who drew a wild turkey tag, early one morning shot his bird in his neighbor’s front yard. He ran and picked it up before anyone had arisen for the day. I guess the early worm gets the bird.

Once upon a time there was a police officer in the Valley and he had wild turkeys living in his trees and feeding in his yard. They would often pursue him with their talons extended and their gobble gobble sirens shrieking at their loudest.

One morning he came out to get into his patrol car and was attacked by one of the more vicious birds. He pulled his pistol and quickly dispatched the mean beast and threw it in his trunk.

When he told his fellow officers what he had done, they contacted the Nevada Department of Wildlife and set up a prank to pull on the turkey killer.

The NDOW came flapping their arms with their ticket books out and their pens drawn. They took the bird as evidence and submitted it to a CSI autopsy and honored it at their afternoon luncheon. The officer was informed of the prank his fellow officers had played on him and the whole department lived up to their motto “To serve and protect!”

I once asked my mother what they had for their thanksgiving meal back in the 1930s. She said they always had whatever her uncles could shoot off the local pond: ducks, geese or other wild game. It wasn’t until the 40s that the modern concept of a beautifully roasted turkey became the symbol of Thanksgiving. I guess there were just too many turkeys with nothing to do and so they sold their souls for a holiday.

My mother-in-law, as a youth, had the questionable job of grinding turkey heads and feeding them to mink. If we still believed in mink coats, we would have to give credit to the turkey for providing us with such fine fur.

I for one have never cared for turkey on Thanksgiving. My family cooks a large prime rib and a small turkey. The turkey is best served the next day as a sandwich. It’s always best on Thanksgiving Day to eat the dressing and rolls because they’re all gone.

The best tradition for the holidays is to cut your pie into four pieces and use plenty of whipped cream.
Now let’s all go end the day with a slice of pie.